I did meet someone through online dating. I liked him very much. He was nice and cute and constantly told me I was pretty. It was the self-esteem boost I really needed.
We had been talking for a few weeks, sending photos back and forth, and just flirting quite heavily. But then he started telling me that he had developed feelings for me.
Being a hopeless romantic, I would normally be excited about that. This time, it scared the shit out of me. Maybe I’ve gotten cynical but I don’t believe people can develop feelings that quickly. Especially without meeting in person or knowing anything fundamental about them. Of course, I assumed it was a line to get me to send nudes.
Then a few more weeks later, he said he’d actually fallen in love with me. Again, that scared the ever living shit out of me. I liked flirting with him but I wasn’t anywhere near falling for him. In fact, I kept reminding myself that this wasn’t going anything serious. I told myself to be smart for once and not to get attached.
We’d been talking every single day at this point and for the next few days, he kept telling me that he loved me and that it was okay that I wasn’t. Then one day, he didn’t message me. I immediately assumed that he was tired of me not saying I loved him back or just tired of me in general. Long story short, I got a wee bit attached.
With everything that led up to this point, it’s pretty safe to say I was sad and quite lonely. So I decided to tell him I loved him. I didn’t but I thought it would make him want to keep talking to me.
It worked. Oh it worked very well. It worked too well.
Because then he told me that he was very seriously saving up to come visit me.
Now I’m not a completely terrible person. I just make very bad decisions. So of course I felt bad. I didn’t want him to spend a lot of money to come see someone who wasn’t actually in love and would honestly probably ghost him sooner or later.
So I told him everything. He took it well but I still felt really bad. I was also a bit afraid that he was just waiting for me to actually fall for him, which I really didn’t see happening. I just liked flirting with him.
And kids, that is why you shouldn’t make decisions when you’re sad or lonely.
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