Zombie

In my first year of high school, I met seven of the coolest girls ever. We decided we wanted to be friends forever so we decided to start a band. It was kind of funny because only one or two of us knew how to play an instrument. Also because we chose to be a band so we could be friends forever. (See: Van Halen, The Beatles, and Guns ‘N Roses)

There was a school event that year where bands could play. We decided to join-again, even if only one of us could actually play an instrument. We rented studios so we could learn how to actually play, be a band and practice. We decided to find the easiest songs we could play. This was one of them.

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If I Could Be Anything

If I could be anything
I would be a shark
I’d devour all my enemies
All bite and no bark

If I could be anything
I would be a cat
Free from my responsibilities
Staying right where i’m at

If I could be anything
I would be a fly
Flitting from wall to wall
Never asking whyRead More »

Get Low

As you may have read from my About page, I also dabble in music. I was able to record a few things yesterday and this was one of them.

I’ve been wanting to do a guitar cover of Lil Jon and The Eastside Boyz’ Get Low for a while now and last night, I finally did it.

Sad and rambling #1

I’m sad.

That’s the simplest, most sincere way I can put it.

I have no one to talk to so I have to write this down to get it out. I don’t have anyone to talk to because everyone who cares will ask why I’m sad and I just can’t explain that. For as long as I can remember, I have sad days that I just can’t explain. Thinking about it objectively, I have no reason to be. I have a job, great friends, my family and almost everything I need but I can’t help the way I feel.

I’m feeling down and self-destructive. I’m listening to sad music and tonight, I plan on drinking (I really don’t drink so this is kind of a big deal). I just want to feel something other than sad.

I know I’m going to be okay. Maybe tomorrow or some other day, I’m going to be just fine. Today, I just want to feel.

People are taught that there is a reason for everything. I don’t believe that. Sometimes you can be sad and not know why and it’s okay.

Goodnight, Nobody

I was alone, flying too high.
Goodnight, Nobody. You never asked why.

I walk down the road with no plan in mind.
Goodnight, Nobody. You left me behind.

I open my eyes and you’re nowhere near me.
Goodnight, Nobody. You’re who I wanted to see.

I reach out for you but you turned me away.
Goodnight, Nobody. You only wanted to play.

I gave you my heart but you tore it to pieces.
Goodnight, Nobody. You never wanted my kisses.

I was wrong before, you’re not who I wanted to be.
Goodnight, Nobody. You’re nobody to me.

Pretty Girl Behind The Red Door

She never cared for anyone good
She knew who she was and she knew where she stood
Her heart was untested and unsure
Pretty girl behind the red door

She fell in love, such a pretty sight
She saw the truth in black and white
Each time she gave herself away
She hoped it was enough for him to stay

He shattered her heart under his feet
All his words tasted bittersweet
She wondered what the hell love was for
Broken girl behind a broken doorRead More »

Remembering

I don’t remember that day very well, only the moments that stand out.

I remember leaving the house to go to class, feeling very much alone. I felt I was drifting apart from my friends who were now dating each other. We still hung out together, but I always felt like a third wheel. A fat, not-as-pretty-as-them third wheel.

I don’t remember where they were that day. I was alone, literally. I went to class anyway. I didn’t want to but I guess I felt like I had to because, what else could I do?

I remember ending up with him outside, eating street food. We talked about things that you talk about with friends you were getting to know more. It was light and silly but I appreciated it. I didn’t want to talk about things that were bothering me.

I don’t remember if he wanted to talk about things. I don’t even remember if he knew what I knew. We didn’t talk about it.Read More »

Letter No. 1

I still remember so much about you.

I remember you singing a Blur song to annoy people. I used to laugh at that, not because I thought you were a weirdo, but because you were amusing.

I don’t think you even knew who I was then.

I didn’t even realize how cool you were for knowing who Blur was.

We became friends later. Not great friends, we didn’t hang out all the time but you were a good choice to talk to during classes. I’d like to think you thought the same about me.

I still remember all those lame things I thought up. Memory books, dumb poems, and that sort of shit.

If you thought I was lame, you never showed it.

You wrote poems too. I always thought yours were so much better than mine. That never stopped me from trying to impress you. If you were impressed, you never showed it.

You left for a while. You told me you weren’t coming back.Read More »

The Choice

“You have a choice.”

I stared blankly at the woman in front of me, as if she was speaking an alien language. I was still in shock, I guess.

We were heading home from our weekly date night and I was laughing too hard at his jokes again. I didn’t even see the truck coming. Oh John, I thought. Im so sorry.

“Is-is he…?” I reflected that she might not have known what I was talking about but she just smiled grimly at me.

“Physically, he will be,” she said, flatly. “Emotionally, mentally? That I’m not so sure about.” She paused, like she wasn’t sure if she should go on. “He loved – loves you. Too much, I daresay.”

I smiled sadly at her. “I always knew he did.” I shook my head as if to clear it. “Can I see him?”

She smiled that grim smile again. “That, my dear, is where your choice comes in.”

Read More »